Chudmaxx Labs Pre-print Server

Research

Pre-prints and technical notes from Chudmaxx Labs. None of these have been peer reviewed. None of them are real. All of them are typeset in LaTeX.

Submission policy. Chudmaxx Labs accepts submissions on any topic at the intersection of CDN engineering and the broader cosmetic-coded computing field. We do not accept submissions. There is no submission portal. There is no reviewer pool. Each paper that appears here was written by one person over the course of one (1) evening.

arXiv:2026.05.chud.0001v2 cs.CR cs.SI

PSL-Based Adversarial Filtering at the CDN Edge: A Production Evaluation Across 310 Points of Presence

Hugo Slopwell, Madison Chudwell, Brennan Slopkowski (Chudmaxx Labs, Chudflare Inc.)

We present the design, deployment, and evaluation of an adversarial request-filtering system based on the Perceived Sigma Level (PSL) metric, a 1.0-10.0 continuous-valued classifier trained on 4.2×10⁹ labeled HTTP request samples. PSL inference is performed in-line at the CDN edge across 310 points of presence (PoPs) with a median added latency of 0.91 ms (p99: 4.3 ms). The classifier achieves 98.7% true-positive rate at a 0.4% false-positive rate against a held-out adversarial corpus. We further introduce Chad Fight Mode, a deployment posture in which all requests scoring above 5.5 on the PSL axis are silently downgraded via HTTP 403, and demonstrate that the approach reduces "unwanted cheekbone exposure" by 93.4% at the edge.

[PDF, 3 pages] [LaTeX source] [Reference impl (Chudscript)]

arXiv:2026.??.chud.???? cs.SE

Continuous Lowercasing as a Compiler Pass (in preparation)

M. Chudwell, et al.

We formalize the under-mew transform as a single-pass AST rewrite and prove its idempotency under repeated application. A reference implementation in the Chudders runtime achieves <3% throughput overhead. Manuscript pending.

[manuscript not yet released]

arXiv:2026.??.chud.???? cs.NI

Anycast Routing Under Posture Constraints (in preparation)

B. Slopkowski

A revisit of BGP best-path selection in the presence of operator-reported posture telemetry. We argue for the inclusion of an OPTIONAL community attribute encoding the median jawline angle of users served by a given PoP. The IETF has not responded.

[manuscript not yet released]

For correspondence, do not contact {slopwell, chudwell, slopkowski}@chudflare.com. None of these inboxes exist. For real research, see the Cloudflare Research blog.